If you had to describe your ideal life, what would it look like?
I think the title is self explantory, but I will elaborate. I wish that I could have an easier life than I do now. I still worry about making ends meet month to month, although I’m more comfortable than I have been before. And I live with a fair amount of anxiety and fear, especially about my health and the future. My ideal life would be to be able to do whatever I wanted (within reason), and I wouldn’t be afraid of the consequences. Like loss, harm, or failure.
Like before I started my HETTY blog, I had an idea for a certain style of cookbook. It was gonna be postmodern, but I’m afraid of saying more than that vague description. But I have no connections in the publishing industry, there’s already a lot of cookbooks published, and maybe the specific style I wanted to write the cookbook in wouldn’t land with the public, and it would later end up in the bargain bin. So after some thought, early efforts, and worry, I didn’t write anything substantial.
If I was more secure financially and socially, I would have probably written the cookbook, without the fear of failure. I would be willing to take more risks.
There’s also been times where I have been too timid to ask certain women out on dates throughout my life. Again, the fear of failure and possibly of harm. Also times where I was afraid of speaking up when it could be required. Cuz I’m sometimes afraid of saying the wrong thing at inappropriate moments. So I clam up more often than not.
So that ideal life remains a fantasy so far. I still have ideas and aspirations, so maybe I can luck out someday and get to a place where I can take more reasonable risks. But I would like to be free from pain, fear, and be more financially comfortable.
HETTY 