What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?
I really had to think about this prompt, cuz acts of kindness towards me seem to be rare, or at least hard to recall outside of my own family. But I’m a disabled US veteran, and I needed help back in 2011. I was able to get it at a VA hospital thanks to the medical staff.
So back in 2011, I was in bad shape, but I didn’t want to admit it. I wanted to “pull myself by my own bootstraps” even though I was underemployed, had student loan debt I was afraid that I couldn’t repay without great difficulty, had and currently have severe depression and a good level of anxiety.
I smoke heavily, toked and drank with what little money I had. I had to be hospitalized for mental health issues once before, and I didn’t want to be hospitalized again. I’ll figure it out, I thought, even though I was homeless again. I couldn’t make rent for a studio apartment.
I ended up at a veterans group home, and I started to see a psychologist I’ll call Dr. Sandra. Her first name, but I’ll withhold her last name. A blonde middle aged woman. Over time, I would talk through my problems. I had a lot. I sometimes was harassed and bullied at work and school. I had deaths in the family. I struggled to find and keep jobs, after my time in the service. I have physical, psychological, and it later turned out neurological disabilities.
I found out that I’m neurodiverse, but the medical staff didn’t notice it until I gradually noticed patterns, did some reading, and brought it up to the doctors. After group therapy sessions and medical tests, it turns out that I had several diagnoses, including hearing impairment and a type of autism.
Anyways, Dr. Sandra encouraged me to file for disability benefits, she listened to what I had to say and offered advice to problems I had, and she taught group sessions with other veterans that gave better life skills than what I had before. I had to file a appeals claim after my disability case was denied the first time, and she wrote a letter to social security administration listing the various disabilities I’ve had, and why I can’t work full time anymore.
I was approved for disability pensions. A modest income, but it is more than my income during my working life. Yes, even more than when I was active duty. I’m grateful that I met Dr. Sandra, and she gave me help and a listening ear for when I needed it.
Do I still have problems and worries? Oh yes. But I’m able to cope better, I volunteer, donate, and help people when I can, and I have better problem solving abilities than before. And I have changed over time. I’m not as passive as I tried to be before, but I have learned that it’s ok to walk away if some issue is stressing me out. It’s ok to quit a job or school due to stress, end a toxic relationship, and failure can make one think of alternatives if something isn’t working out.
I also read some books that Dr. Sandra recommended, and I got into the current version of the BBC show Sherlock because she is a fan. Which I actually liked.
I have a better life now, thanks to the medical staff at the Veterans Administration hospital and Dr. Sandra.
HETTY 